A L I V E
by MiladyApril2002
Summary: Rose Quartz had shattered Pink Diamond- and now, Pink Diamond was D E A D. . . . ...right? *Available in Wattpadd!
1. prologue

...she had _never_ wanted any of this...

Not for this _planet_. Not for _her_ Earth.

Earth, was _hers_. Her _own_ colony, her own _property_ , her own **treasure**.

Pink never wanted an ending so _horrible, ugly_ and _destructive_ for her _beautiful, beautiful, beautiful_ planet.

She also didn't want to hurt her gems. Her _beautiful, wild, and free_ creations.

She didn't see her gems as mere _stones_ -( _none of the Diamonds ever did_ )- and she certainly did NOT treat them as toys.

They were _hers_.

 _All of them were hers._

 _Her sweet and rowdy Amethysts. Her loyal and quick-tempered Jaspers. Her innocent and naive Rose Quartzes._

 _They were all hers._

 _Perfect or defective, they were still hers._

 _And she had loved them so much- she still does!_

-sososososososososos-

... **but** ,

- **MUCH** -

But Pink was a _Diamond_.

Before her, and before them, and before Earth, she was _still_ a Diamond.

The most powerful and flawless and greatest gem of all.

 _She was a diamond_.

- _a defective one_ -

And despite her size, she was _still_ a diamond.

- _a **defective** diamond_-

She was meant for _great_ things. She was meant for great things! To be a Leader! To lead victories to Homeworld! Spread the power, the greatness, and the perfection of a Diamond! Own and ensure success in leading her own Colony! Lead her army to squash low-lifeforms!

 _She was made for Greatness!_

- ** _imperfection_** -

 _So she has to prove herself that she is indeed a **Diamond**!_

-" _then act like it, **PINK!**_ "-

...so even if she didn't want any of this...

- **PINK**!-

A Diamond was still a Diamond.

- **PINK**!-

...

...but...

 _She had never wanted to be one, either._

 _She had never wanted to be born flawed._

 _She had never wanted to hear the whispers, the glances, and see the disappointment in their eyes._

 _She never asked to be so_ short _._

 _She never asked to be such a **disappointment.**_

All Pink Diamond had ever wanted was her precious gems, her humans, her Earth-

 **ALL SHE EVER WANTED WAS TO STOP DISAPPOINTING THE OTHERS BECAUSE WHO WANTED TO DISAPPOINT THE ONES WHO _MADE_ YOU?!**

 **WHO WANTED TO SEE _SHAME_ AND _DISGUST_ ON YOUR FELLOW DIAMONDS FOR BEING BORN W R O N G?!**

 **WHO WANTED TO SEE THE ANNOYANCE AND _PITY_?! PITY FROM YOUR _SUPPOSEDLY_ E Q U A L S ?!**

 **WHO WANTED TO FEEL SO _INSECURE_ , SO _WRONG_ , SO _WEAK_ AND SO MUCH _HATE_ FOR HER OWN SELF?!**

 **JUST FOR WHAT? FOR BEING BORN W R O N G?!**

 **SHE _NEVER_ WANTED ANY OF THIS!**

.

.

.

 _(...pink...)_

.

.

Pink tried, _okay?_

She tried so hard to be who she was _supposed_ to be.

She tried so hard to please **Them.**

All she did was try,

And try,

And try,

And try-

 **(while watching her own planet, her own gems, her humans, and everything she loved slowly get h u r t e d and it h u r t e d her so B A D because she NEVER wanted any of this!-)**

-again.

.

.

.

 ** _Until she just_ couldn't _take it anymore._**

.

.

.

 _Until to the point she **c r a c k e d.**_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _...and she had no choice but to be.._.

.

.

.

 **S H A T T E R E D**


	2. One

" _Nooooooo_!"

A familiar high-pitched voiced echoed across the sleepy town of Beach City, causing most residents to shake their head in amusement with an image of a chubby boy in their minds while unconsciously wondering what caused his wail of distress.

The source was named Steven Universe, a special boy who wore a pink shirt and blue shorts, and he was currently bothering one of the two employees of the Big Donut, screaming how unfair and how it was not right for his favorite treat to be out of stock. Lars, the employee currently being bothered, looked irritated and annoyed while the other employee, Sadie, looked a tiny bit amused.

"I'm sorry, Steven. I guess they stopped making them." Sadie said, looking sympathetic with the little boy.

"What!" Steven exclaimed "Why would they stop making cookie-cat?! They're the most-" and as the twelve year old boy rambled on, the doorbell rang, and a tall girl came in.

Lar's immediately froze and stared at the newcomer, mouth gaping open as his eyes followed her form. Sadie caught him and sighed, before looking at the new customer and smiling "yes? What can I help you?"

"Hmmm," the girl hummed, her voice was sweet and smooth. She eyed the counters.

Steven, finished with his rant, look at the girl and did not found her familiar. He eyed the girl curiously and asked "Do you know her, Lars?"

"-a box of these donuts and-"

Lars gave a dreamy sigh as he stared at the platinum haired girl "No, just that she's new girl who just moved in Beach City a month ago."

"-oh, and ten packets of Lion Lickers please,"

Steven scowled "Cookie Cat's are the best!" He exclaimed, causing Lars to drop out from his dreamy state, and catching both Sadie's and the girl's attention "Cookie Cat is more scrumdiliumcious ice-cream sandwich ever made!"

The girl only blinked, before Lar's snorted "tough bits, kid. Nobody likes them anymore. They can't compete with-"

"They don't even look like real lions! Kid's these days! I'll tell you what."

"Well if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your magic rock-"

The girl coughed "I believe that is enough, Lars- if I am correct?" The guy in question nodded, stunned that the girl was talking to him, and completely focused on her "you don't have to make this little guy cry over a ice cream-"

"It's not just _any_ ice cream- it's Cookie Cat!" Lars groaned and Sadie smiled as Steven sung-

" _Oh, he's a frozen treat with an all new taste_

 _Cause he came to this planet from outer space_

 _A refugee of an interstellar war_

 _But now he's at your local grocery store"_

The girl's lips quirked into a smile.

" _Cookie Cat_

 _He's a pet for your tummy_

 _Cookie Cat_

 _He's super duper yummy_

 _Cookie Cat_

 _He left his family behind_

 _Cookie Caaat!_ "

The girl let out a chuckle as she took her box of donuts and the paper bag of lion lickers from Sadie "ok- _ayyyy_ , they aren't just, ice creams. They are Cookie Cats." Steven nodded, proud and happy "but," the girl walked to Steven, and crouched to his height with a teasing smirk "Lion Lickers are _better_."

"No they aren't!"

"Uh, yes they are,"

"They don't even look like lions!"

"Says who?"

"Me!"

"Lion Lickers are much more better."

"Cookie Cats are better!"

"Lion Lickers!"

"Cookie Cats!"

And the two glared at each other, causing both two employees of Big Donut to sweat, before the girl bursted into giggles, causing Steven and the other two to look at her in confusion.

She placed her hand on his head and ruffled his hair "heyyy!" She smiled at him, her icy blue eyes twinkling at him "I was just messing with you, mister Cookie. So, can I have the pleasure in knowing my rival's name?"

Steven, who was a bit upset at the fact there were no more of his favorite treats in the store and the fact Lion Lickers replaced them, couldn't help but feel a little bit better by the girl and he grinned.

"My name is Steven Universe!" He exclaimed "and don't you forget it!" And he held his hand to her which she took it, and shook it.

She smiled at him, and Steven couldn't help but notice how her eyes were soft and a little bit sad,

"It's nice to meet you, Steven." And she looks at him, but at the same time, not at him "My name is Patricia Archer, but you can call me Pink."

Steven, who was a little bit curious, asked "why 'Pink'? Why not 'Patty' or 'Tricia'?"

Lars couldn't help but snicker "heh-" he shut his mouth when the Sadie glared at him.

The girl- no, Pink, looked at him with a strange smile.

" _It's my name, silly_."

~

Hidden by branches of leaves and from a mile away, Pink watched on a branch as the Crystal Gems and Steven scrambled around to defeat a corrupted gem.

Her legs swinging, she hummed "-the first Fusion, a Pearl and..." her eyes scrutinised the purple figure, her eyes dilating and eyes changed to the color of pink with a black diamond in the center, and then her vision became clearer and sharper "a little... _Amethyst_? Is she one of _mine_? I thought Homeworld took all of them..." her eyes soft and her smile was fond as her gaze turned to the little boy burying- its probably the ice cream packet- something in the ground.

"Well Rosy," she stood up on the branch "your son is in good hands. And I won't interfere, never had any plans for it. Unless they are in grave danger- then I'll help as much as I can-"

She lifted her shirt, and revealed a cracked and incomplete pink diamond.

She smiled weakly "well... As much as an _incomplete_ Diamond can..."


	3. Two

Pink found Steven ( _Rosy's hybrid son_ ) strange, and quite funny. She liked him. The boy would find himself and the Crystal Gems in the oddest and funny situations, and he would get in trouble just because of his silly, naive, but pure intentions.

He also reminded her of Rose; so kind, so sweet, so naive, and just too innocent.

It hurted her whenever she would remember her Quartz, and she had tried very hard in avoiding thinking of the past, so she would just smile and wave to the boy like a kind stranger would.

She was 'Pinky' to him, the kind, funny, and strange older girl with the pretty light blonde hair and bright icy colored blue eyes, and the strangest smile on her face. She lived in a fancy-looking white travel trailer and she owned beautiful white sports car. She travels all the time, and has a lot of friends in the world. She loves Big Donuts and was always so, kind and gentle, and funny, and she looked like someone who couldn't even hurt a fly!

 _Steven liked Pinky._

"-and Pearl was like, 'Steeeeveeeen, No!' and I was like 'but Pearl-' and then-" Pearl, huh, it must be her. I mused, because spending so much time in this city made me recognize who that pearl was, that one was a spitfire, and she had never liked me. I had caused her so much trouble... "-and I saw the nice girl on the beach! You know the girl I told you about! And then-"

 _Not Pink Diamond._

I chuckled at him, giving Sadie a nod as thanks for the food when I took the box of donuts and a paper bag of sweet treats. I left the money on the counter and said "bye Sadie, Lars. I don't think I'll come back the next coming days."

"Huh?" Steven who had stopped on his rants and blinked at me with those big black eyes of Rosy "are you going somewhere, Pinky? Are you leaving Beach City?" He grabbed my fluffy white coat and started pulling it "Nooooo Pinky! Don't leave Beach City! Stay!"

 _"-please, My Diamond, please... Don't do this to me. Pink Diamond... please... stay-"_

I pulled myself away from my dark memories, and put up a smile for Steven. At that moment, I forget Rosy, I forget Gems, I forget Homeworld, I forget Pink Diamond and I just gave Steven a smile.

I ruffled his hair, a darker brown color that appeared to be black than his father's lighter hue. I took out a Cookie Cat that I had bought for him and placed it on his hair.

"Silly boy," he grab the ice cream sandwich and upon seeing it, his eyes lightened up in a familiar way that made my heart ache "I need to come back to my home. I have some work to do you know. But don't worry, little man, I'll come back."

He gave me a teary look before hugging me "...promise?" He said, his voice muffled.

"...of course," _I am so sorry_ "I promise." I smiled, but it might be a little strained since I saw Sadie looking at me with concern "I promise."

 _I'm sorry, little guy, but I need to go._

He pulled away from me, his warmth disappearing and smiled so wide and so bright that it hurts me "I'll hold you on your word, Pinky! You better come back-oh, the time! The time! The others are back! They'll be so worried!" Then he started to to walk away "thanks for the cookie cat, Pinky! And you better come back! Bye Sadie, Bye Lars!"

"Bye Steven." Sadie said, while Lars grunted like an old human.

He looked at me again and gave me that smile "bye Pinky!" And he started to ran away...

... _from_...

 _Me_.

"...will you come back, Patricia?" Sadie asked, and I thought _sweet and kind Sadie..._ "...I don't know," I stared at the sky, that slowly bled from a bright orange to a dark cool shade of purple-blue.

"Then..."

"No," I immediately cut her off "it's better this way." I said, and I started to walk away "And you don't tell Steven."

"...okay."

"Good." I said, and I grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it "...Sadie, you are sweet and kind, but you need to stand up a little for Lars. And Lars, you should be more nice to Sadie here, or you'll regret it." I looked backed at them and smiled "Well, see you around."

And I left, heading towards my expensive and fancy VIP travel trailer that I had won in Las Vegas.

 _I had never meant to see any of them,_ I entered my own VIP trailer, and shut the door close. Throwing the food inside the fridge, before undressing myself. I wore thick clothes for a reason. It was better this way. I don't need to come back. I'll just... make trouble.

Dropping the clothes on the floor, I stared at my reflection.

I see a human teenaged girl, with long and messy platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes. She had porcelain soft skin. She looked a perfectly beautiful human.

Except for the cracked and the incomplete pink diamond on her belly, and how it was the source of angry and bright pink colored veins that stretched all the way to her collar, to her arms, to her inner thighs and to the back of necks. It covered her skin, because like a thick branch, it had small branches and even more smaller branches on those branches. The Veins grew and crawled all over her skin.

And it **hurted**.

The Veins glowed, and a sharp and unbearable pain started to flare every bit in her body. She fell to the ground and curled herself in a ball, moving and twitching from the pain, but never making a sound.

It _**hurts**._

She shut her eyes and let her human body trash around. It was painful. So, so, so painful. It was like... like...

There were thousand tiny sharp knives that were searing hot, and it continuously stabbed her. Or her _gem_ was shattering into pieces slowly, _again_.

 **All. Over. Again.**

Tears leaked from her eyes, her pupil shifted to a diamond's eyes- pink diamond's eyes. The pain worsened. Her body arched and she let out a voiceless scream.

 _And sweet and kind and innocent Steven doesn't need to know this._ Tears streamed down my cheeks _Not a single thing._

 ** _This is my burden._**

 ** _This is my pain._**

 ** _This is my punishment._**

 ** _And it is only right for someone like me to suffer._**


End file.
